Wednesday, February 23, 2011

Before I was a runner...

As distance runners, we have a jargon all our own. To non-runners, it can sound like a foreign language when we start rattling on about this and that. I thought it might be fun to list some of the phrases or truths that I've come to understand since becoming addicted to running.

Before I was a runner

  • PR meant Puerto Rico
  • Lap Splits sounded like something I'd have to pay extra for at a strip club.
  • Negative Splits sounded like something I paid extra for that went awry.
  • Running in the woods? Not without a bear chasing me!
  • Defecating in the woods? Umm...
  • When someone said "it's freezing outside", I didn't think "oh, that's warm!"
  • Waking up at 4:45am when the wind chill is -1 on a Wednesday morning meant crawling back into bed - NOT getting outside for 80-90 minutes.
  • I never knew my nipples would produce anything, let alone blood.
  • A marathon happened every year, around Christmas time, when TBS would play A Christmas Story for 24 hours straight.
  • The only times I was up to see the sun rise were the nights I hadn't gone to bed yet.
  • If I disappeared for a couple of hours with a woman friend of mine and came home all sore and sweaty, there'd be a few more questions than "So, how was it?"

How about you?


  1. love 'em all, especially the last one! HILARIOUS:D

  2. When in college, "hitting the wall" was when you drank so much the ability to speak would leave you mid-sentence.

    LSD meant something VERY different.

  3. @runluaurun - Good one! I forgot that one. It was going to read:

    "The Wall" was something you hallucinated to for a few hours, not something you hit after a few hours and *then* hallucinated.

  4. Nice post, Adam. Curious what pre-running Adam would have to say about "fartleks".

  5. @Greg - I believe that would have been met with much laughter. :)

  6. Nice! And Gu was the crap stuck under your shoe.

  7. This is priceless! Thanks so much for a great lol.
    Getting nutrients out of a small package that you tear open with your teeth was something only astronauts did in space.